Shedding The Corporate Noose

“I don’t like wearing a tie!” Does this sound like you? This is a commonly uttered phrase in my line of work. With the abundance of formal events that arise along side the budding foliage of spring, the occasions to shave that stubble, clean those nails, and don that dreaded formalwear are right around the corner. Weddings, Galas, Zoobilation, Charity functions, etc., all require you to dress to impress. “So how, many of my clients ask, can I pull this off without a *!@# tie?” Due to surge of corporate casual there is a simple answer, the ever-versatile pocket square. While adding a bit of color or pattern to your shirt and jacket, it can serve as a substitute for the “corporate noose.” Now don’t misunderstand me, my personal opinion is “Black tie optional” means wear a tie, but this isn’t about me. With trends adapting to a new generation of casually influenced fashion, once standard rules are now considered options. A high quality wool black suit, or tux, accompanied by an equally exceptional dress shirt, top button undone, and a coordinating pocket square can create a stylish presentation. Adding a vest to your ensemble can enhance your look as well. STYLING YOUR POCKET SQUARE Poufy This exuberant style works best for the most ostentatious. There’s nothing reserved about all this volume, or about you. Be sure it looks inattentive, not too structured. Pointing (Crown) For the gentleman who chooses the middle road. The structured edges make a bold statement of an otherwise modest style, ideal for the proposal makers and decision makers alike. Straight Don’t let the name mislead you. The straight fold is widely believed to be the most sophisticated. It’s for the gentleman who needn’t speak to be heard.

Shhhh! They're On The Phone

At one point or another we have all read or overheard suggestions for proper etiquette when using our beloved cell phones in public. Although on an almost daily basis I encounter people who seem to have left their manners at home. Example; I was at the bank the other day and watched as the poor teller had to try to get a word in edgewise with the guy standing in front of her as he carried on a casual conversation over the phone. How rude! And what can be more inappropriate than sitting down to dinner with a group of friends/family and having someone at the table answer a phone call and carry on while the rest of the party sits quietly as not to “interrupt” the conversation? I won’t even tap into the drama you could create taking a call while on a date! With the advance of technology, cell phones have made our lives easier and much more productive. We now have instant access to communicate with anyone nearly anywhere in the world. The flip side to this is now we are almost too accessible, especially at times when it is not appropriate. For instance, I was riding in a friend’s car the other afternoon on our way to lunch when their phone rang. To my surprise the call was answered, carried on (in more detail than I needed to hear) over the car’s speaker system via Bluetooth. And to make the situation worse my friend never mentioned to the person on the other end of the line that I was in the car, and that they were on speakerphone! What an invasion of the caller’s privacy. I don’t think it’s really necessary that there be a list of Do’s & Don’ts posted here but rather a simple reminder to be courteous of the people who are actually in front of you when your phone rings. We should be able to tolerate a person talking on the phone while in an elevator, or waiting in line, or at the doctor’s office. As long as the person is using a respectable tone I don’t see the difference in having a conversation with the person standing next to them, or on the other end of a call. However, if you are in the company of others it is no longer personal time, it becomes everyone’s time. Spend your personal time as you please, but don’t cash in time spent in the company of others without first investing some courteous thought. Writer’s Thoughts: Remember as a kid, being disciplined at home for not being quiet and courteous while someone was on the phone? Imagine one day having to extend that courtesy in public while a nearby stranger is on a cellular call…. Hey, it could happen!

On Public Trial

Take a look around you, in a restaurant, at the grocery store, at your place of business. The way we look, the way we carry ourselves, these are all part of who you are. The way Americans carry themselves today is strongly influenced by our need to conform to society. On one side we are manipulated into thinking we need the most popular brands and designer attire to convey who we are. Dolce & Gabanna, Chanel, Coach, Polo, Prada, Nike, Burberry, Calvin Klein, Dooney & Burke, well… you get the point, we have been influenced that we need their names on our bodies to solidify what we represent. How about quality of construction, the use of better fabrics, a product built for longevity as apposed to instant, and temporary, gratification? On the flip side we've been taught that attention to personal style, or being “fashion conscious” is vain and superficial. We are led to believe that our attire has no significance and should not influence how we are perceived by others. No wonder we live in such a tense society with obesity and poverty becoming more commonplace. How many of us were taught to develop the mental strength and independence that is necessary to cope with all of these conflicting influences. Fashionable brands and the latest trends are what lack in value, not the people who choose to wear them. You can remain conscious of your appearance without becoming a slave to popular trend. The way we carry ourselves, our posture and presence, are all equal in reflecting who we are. Your appearance, like it or not, affects how others respond to you. Our attitudes, our roles in society, and even our ambition are all being judged daily by everyone you come in contact with throughout the day. How many people judged you yesterday?